Dear Godzilla,
My name is Stephen. I am seven years old. I have a Huffy bike. Do you have a bike? I like dogs. Thank you.
Love,
Stephen Williams
(AGE SEVEN)
Grand Rapids, Michigan
P.S. My name is Stephen.
Monday, March 22, 2010
We All Laughed
Dear Godzilla,
Some kid at school said a bad name when I told about you in school. I know that when you finally come to kill everybody there [SIC] will be some kids who are very sorry they ever said theres [SIC] no such thing as you. I told him he will get burned up by your fire breath but then a very funny thing happened when some older kids heard he didn't think you were real[:] they kicked the boy until he bled and held his stomack [SIC] and cried and said he did really think you were [real] after all. Then we all laughed at the little boy.
Love,
Sue Lyon
(AGE FIVE)
Youngstown, Ohio
Some kid at school said a bad name when I told about you in school. I know that when you finally come to kill everybody there [SIC] will be some kids who are very sorry they ever said theres [SIC] no such thing as you. I told him he will get burned up by your fire breath but then a very funny thing happened when some older kids heard he didn't think you were real[:] they kicked the boy until he bled and held his stomack [SIC] and cried and said he did really think you were [real] after all. Then we all laughed at the little boy.
Love,
Sue Lyon
(AGE FIVE)
Youngstown, Ohio
Fi-dit, Fi-dit, Mar Mar
Dear Godzilla,
Who's your favorite Teletubbie? I like Po.
Brooke Bundy
(AGE THREE)
Los Lunas, New Mexico
Who's your favorite Teletubbie? I like Po.
Brooke Bundy
(AGE THREE)
Los Lunas, New Mexico
Don't Get Me Started
Dear Godzilla,
I don't believe in you. What are you, kidding me? You're supposed to be anywhere from two-hundred to four-hundred feet tall? How much would you weigh in that instance? Not that it matters since you would be crushed by your own weight if you ever tried to move. That is horseshit, and I don't care if you tell my mother I said that, which you can't even do since you can't exist anyway. You violate the Square-cube law. I reject you.
Are you supposed to be some kind of heretofore undiscovered theropod dinosaur? With protruding osteoderms? In the debunked vertical position with your tail dragging on the ground? On the ground? Bigger even than the sauropod Seismisaurus or the still- unconfirmed Amphicoelias fragillimus? By the time blood from your impossibly large heart reached your too-massive head, you'd be long since dead. Also, you've got the wrong kind of head; it looks more like a wolf's head or something.
Don't get me started on that fiery Atomic Breath. Yeah, right. You suck.
Okay, I'm sorry. I just saw this movie that was supposed to have you in it, but it didn't. It just had Matthew Broderick. I spend almost all of my allowance to go see it, but felt really ripped off. I'm sorry I said all those bad things and I didn't really mean them, so please don't get mad and kill me. I wish you would come to my home town and kill all the kids who beat me and call me a loser and a geek and a fatty with tits. I respect you always.
Your fan,
Jimmy Michener
(AGE THIRTEEN)
New London, Connecticut
I don't believe in you. What are you, kidding me? You're supposed to be anywhere from two-hundred to four-hundred feet tall? How much would you weigh in that instance? Not that it matters since you would be crushed by your own weight if you ever tried to move. That is horseshit, and I don't care if you tell my mother I said that, which you can't even do since you can't exist anyway. You violate the Square-cube law. I reject you.
Are you supposed to be some kind of heretofore undiscovered theropod dinosaur? With protruding osteoderms? In the debunked vertical position with your tail dragging on the ground? On the ground? Bigger even than the sauropod Seismisaurus or the still- unconfirmed Amphicoelias fragillimus? By the time blood from your impossibly large heart reached your too-massive head, you'd be long since dead. Also, you've got the wrong kind of head; it looks more like a wolf's head or something.
Don't get me started on that fiery Atomic Breath. Yeah, right. You suck.
Okay, I'm sorry. I just saw this movie that was supposed to have you in it, but it didn't. It just had Matthew Broderick. I spend almost all of my allowance to go see it, but felt really ripped off. I'm sorry I said all those bad things and I didn't really mean them, so please don't get mad and kill me. I wish you would come to my home town and kill all the kids who beat me and call me a loser and a geek and a fatty with tits. I respect you always.
Your fan,
Jimmy Michener
(AGE THIRTEEN)
New London, Connecticut
Feeling Okay
Dear Godzilla,
I have never seen you eat anything before. Are you feeling okay?
Grace Lee Whitney
(AGE SEVEN)
Russell, Kansas
I have never seen you eat anything before. Are you feeling okay?
Grace Lee Whitney
(AGE SEVEN)
Russell, Kansas
They Are Afraid
Dear Godzilla,
Of what worth is a man's soul if he cannot cry? I ask those on the street, but they are afraid. I ask you for you fear none.
Shane Black
(AGE FOUR)
Industry, Tennessee
Of what worth is a man's soul if he cannot cry? I ask those on the street, but they are afraid. I ask you for you fear none.
Shane Black
(AGE FOUR)
Industry, Tennessee
When I'm Grown Up
Dear Godzilla,
When I grow up I want to marry you. I think you won't be too old because you are already more than four million years old and still the same as four million years ago. When I am eighteen, which is how old I found out I have to be to get married, I want to get married to you and stand on your nose and ride on it. I am pretty now and I will be more pretty when I'm grown up.
Love,
Thea Von Harbour
(AGE SIX)
Henderson, Nevada
When I grow up I want to marry you. I think you won't be too old because you are already more than four million years old and still the same as four million years ago. When I am eighteen, which is how old I found out I have to be to get married, I want to get married to you and stand on your nose and ride on it. I am pretty now and I will be more pretty when I'm grown up.
Love,
Thea Von Harbour
(AGE SIX)
Henderson, Nevada
It Was Really You
Dear Godzilla,
Why did you take my Daddy away? My Mommy says it was the bottle took him away, but I know it was really you because she cries about it all the time. Please bring my Daddy back.
Billy Wilder
(AGE FIVE)
Intercourse, Pennsylvania
Why did you take my Daddy away? My Mommy says it was the bottle took him away, but I know it was really you because she cries about it all the time. Please bring my Daddy back.
Billy Wilder
(AGE FIVE)
Intercourse, Pennsylvania
A Few Questions
Dear Godzilla,
I am a loyal and devoted G-Fan, but I have a few questions which maybe you could clear up for me.
1. In "Gojira/Godzilla 1985" (1984), the first film after your hiatus and the beginning of the Heisei series, all of your films subsequent to the original "Gojira/Godzilla: Kind of the Monsters" were ignored, invalidating their place in the canon. Why was this?
2. Although initially identified as a personification of America's atomic aggression toward Japan, in later films you became Japan's benevolent protector and friend to all children. Is Japan's assimilation and transformation of you (implicitly "the bomb") similar to gays and blacks using insulting terminology ("queer" and "nigger" respectively)amongst themselves to "take back the term?"
3. In a rematch, do you think you would have a more decisive victory over King Kong?
Thank you for everything. You truly are king of Daikaiju Eiga!
Bobby Mitchum
(AGE TWELVE)
Rochester, New York
I am a loyal and devoted G-Fan, but I have a few questions which maybe you could clear up for me.
1. In "Gojira/Godzilla 1985" (1984), the first film after your hiatus and the beginning of the Heisei series, all of your films subsequent to the original "Gojira/Godzilla: Kind of the Monsters" were ignored, invalidating their place in the canon. Why was this?
2. Although initially identified as a personification of America's atomic aggression toward Japan, in later films you became Japan's benevolent protector and friend to all children. Is Japan's assimilation and transformation of you (implicitly "the bomb") similar to gays and blacks using insulting terminology ("queer" and "nigger" respectively)amongst themselves to "take back the term?"
3. In a rematch, do you think you would have a more decisive victory over King Kong?
Thank you for everything. You truly are king of Daikaiju Eiga!
Bobby Mitchum
(AGE TWELVE)
Rochester, New York
Could You?
Dear Godzilla,
Could you kill Superman in a fight? I don't mean beat him, I mean kill him.
Walter Becker
(AGE NINE)
Laie, Hawaii
Could you kill Superman in a fight? I don't mean beat him, I mean kill him.
Walter Becker
(AGE NINE)
Laie, Hawaii
All of Them Are Great
Dear Godzilla,
I'm sorry I haven't written in a while, but I still watch you on TV every week and know every movie by heart. My favorite used to be "Godzilla's Revenge" but now I kind of like "Destroy All Monsters." But all of them are great!
Sometimes when I am sad or lonely I will watch one of your movies and say the words along with them. I have brought many friends over to watch with me and they now watch them and sometimes we even have weekly meetings to watch your movies and discuss them with each other. I think when I'm confused or need answers I look at you destroying Tokyo or Kyoto and I feel better not thinking about my problems.
You make everybody's life better, and anybody who doesn't understand that is wicked stupid. I feel bad for them.
Love,
Diane Lane
(AGE EIGHT)
Corvallis, Oregon
I'm sorry I haven't written in a while, but I still watch you on TV every week and know every movie by heart. My favorite used to be "Godzilla's Revenge" but now I kind of like "Destroy All Monsters." But all of them are great!
Sometimes when I am sad or lonely I will watch one of your movies and say the words along with them. I have brought many friends over to watch with me and they now watch them and sometimes we even have weekly meetings to watch your movies and discuss them with each other. I think when I'm confused or need answers I look at you destroying Tokyo or Kyoto and I feel better not thinking about my problems.
You make everybody's life better, and anybody who doesn't understand that is wicked stupid. I feel bad for them.
Love,
Diane Lane
(AGE EIGHT)
Corvallis, Oregon
Come Visit Me
Dear Godzilla,
Where I live we just got a satellite dish and now I can see all your movies. They are incredible! I can see why you are King of the Monsters!
We have a nuclear power plant right near my house and a lot of lizards, and it is right near the beach. I am hoping that you'll either come here or that a new Godzilla will be created from all the Nuclear energy in the air. Come visit me!
Yours in Christ,
Alberto Salazar
(AGE NINE)
Rincon, Puerto Rico
Where I live we just got a satellite dish and now I can see all your movies. They are incredible! I can see why you are King of the Monsters!
We have a nuclear power plant right near my house and a lot of lizards, and it is right near the beach. I am hoping that you'll either come here or that a new Godzilla will be created from all the Nuclear energy in the air. Come visit me!
Yours in Christ,
Alberto Salazar
(AGE NINE)
Rincon, Puerto Rico
Lonely Heart
Dear Godzilla,
I was born with no nose. Ought I kill myself?
Thank you,
Billy Shears
(AGE NINE)
Liverpool, England
I was born with no nose. Ought I kill myself?
Thank you,
Billy Shears
(AGE NINE)
Liverpool, England
From a Fish to a Frisbee
Dear Godzilla,
I love all of your movies. My favorite movie that you ever made was called Godzilla berses [SIC] Megalon. Jet Jaguar was in that movie and he is the best robot ever!!!!!!!!!!!!! My other favorite movie that you ever made was called Godzilla and the Smog Monster [SIC]where there is a monster called the Smog Monster who turned from a fish to a frisbee and into a big monster who was very interesting and you had to kill with mirrors because he was making poeple [SIC] sick. Are you ever going to make a new movie with Jet Jaguar [?]I want to see it. I hope you never fight Gamera because he is also a monster but he is a turtle instead of whatever the hell you are and even though you both breathe fire you are both mostly good. So please don't fight. And bring back Jet Jaguar for another movie very soon please. My mom helped me to spell some words. I love you.
Yours Truly,
Micky Eisner
(AGE SIX)
Orlando, Florida
I love all of your movies. My favorite movie that you ever made was called Godzilla berses [SIC] Megalon. Jet Jaguar was in that movie and he is the best robot ever!!!!!!!!!!!!! My other favorite movie that you ever made was called Godzilla and the Smog Monster [SIC]where there is a monster called the Smog Monster who turned from a fish to a frisbee and into a big monster who was very interesting and you had to kill with mirrors because he was making poeple [SIC] sick. Are you ever going to make a new movie with Jet Jaguar [?]I want to see it. I hope you never fight Gamera because he is also a monster but he is a turtle instead of whatever the hell you are and even though you both breathe fire you are both mostly good. So please don't fight. And bring back Jet Jaguar for another movie very soon please. My mom helped me to spell some words. I love you.
Yours Truly,
Micky Eisner
(AGE SIX)
Orlando, Florida
You Know Better
Dear Godzilla,
Do you like the song "Rock the Boat" by the Hues Corporation? I always kind of thought it was good, but I guess you know better than me.
Shirley Jackson
(AGE ELEVEN)
New South Wales, Australia
Do you like the song "Rock the Boat" by the Hues Corporation? I always kind of thought it was good, but I guess you know better than me.
Shirley Jackson
(AGE ELEVEN)
New South Wales, Australia
Back In The Day
Dear Godzilla,
I used to really like that videogame "Rampage" back in the day. Were you guys paid any royalties or give any consent in any way? Ask King Kong too, if you guys are still talking.
Here's wishing I was on Monster Island,
Neal Stephenson
(AGE THIRTY-THREE)
Salt Lake City, Utah
I used to really like that videogame "Rampage" back in the day. Were you guys paid any royalties or give any consent in any way? Ask King Kong too, if you guys are still talking.
Here's wishing I was on Monster Island,
Neal Stephenson
(AGE THIRTY-THREE)
Salt Lake City, Utah
Not For Nothing
Dear Godzilla,
Not for nothing but, uh, I'm from New York. We got King Kong over here and he ain't afraid of you. Oh, and the next time you want to step on our city, you come here yourself instead of sending in your stand-in. We'll treat you the same as we treated him.
Up Yours,
Burton Jarvis
(AGE TEN)
Brooklyn, New York
Not for nothing but, uh, I'm from New York. We got King Kong over here and he ain't afraid of you. Oh, and the next time you want to step on our city, you come here yourself instead of sending in your stand-in. We'll treat you the same as we treated him.
Up Yours,
Burton Jarvis
(AGE TEN)
Brooklyn, New York
Confused a Little
Dear Godzilla,
My brother said he was going to get a car for his birthday, but I think he's lying because he's only twelve! But then one of his friends told me he was, so I got confused a little. When is your birthday?
Jessica Marie Alba
(AGE SIX)
Lacrosse, Wisconsin
My brother said he was going to get a car for his birthday, but I think he's lying because he's only twelve! But then one of his friends told me he was, so I got confused a little. When is your birthday?
Jessica Marie Alba
(AGE SIX)
Lacrosse, Wisconsin
I Bet You
Dear Godzilla,
How big is your dink? I'll tell you how big mine is if you tell me how big your is.
I bet you mine is bigger.
Sincerely,
Brion James
(AGE EIGHT)
Muskogee, Oklahoma
How big is your dink? I'll tell you how big mine is if you tell me how big your is.
I bet you mine is bigger.
Sincerely,
Brion James
(AGE EIGHT)
Muskogee, Oklahoma
Very Shamed
Dear Godzilla,
Looking around at America today I am very shamed by all the immorality I see everywhere. When I think about how some people disrespect the Army or the President I get very angry inside and in my belly. There is no respect for anything anymore. There are even those who would burn the American flag!
I want everyone to understand what all those soldiers on D-Day fought and died for and how you protected us from Japan and later from all those monsters. Don't anybody understand what you gave up for us? Every day I hope something will come to open these fools' eyes.
I know you don't hate them. I know you are above hatred and I try to be like you, but I'm bad and can't be like you. But I try.
Very Truly,
Don Pleasence
(AGE ELEVEN)
Eastman, Georgia
Looking around at America today I am very shamed by all the immorality I see everywhere. When I think about how some people disrespect the Army or the President I get very angry inside and in my belly. There is no respect for anything anymore. There are even those who would burn the American flag!
I want everyone to understand what all those soldiers on D-Day fought and died for and how you protected us from Japan and later from all those monsters. Don't anybody understand what you gave up for us? Every day I hope something will come to open these fools' eyes.
I know you don't hate them. I know you are above hatred and I try to be like you, but I'm bad and can't be like you. But I try.
Very Truly,
Don Pleasence
(AGE ELEVEN)
Eastman, Georgia
Not as Scary
Dear Godzilla,
I think you're not as scary as Chuckie or Scream. I like you though because you don't eat little kids. You are a funny, friendly monster.
Yours Truly,
Marty Milner
(AGE FOUR)
Grover, Alaska
I think you're not as scary as Chuckie or Scream. I like you though because you don't eat little kids. You are a funny, friendly monster.
Yours Truly,
Marty Milner
(AGE FOUR)
Grover, Alaska
Macaroni and Cheese
Dear Godzilla,
You have a head and a tail and two legs and two arms. Your favorite food is macaroni and cheese. You go "ROOOOAAAAR!" I have to go home now to eat my dinner.
Love,
Michael Winner
(AGE THREE, with help from Mrs. Winner)
Reading, Massachusetts
You have a head and a tail and two legs and two arms. Your favorite food is macaroni and cheese. You go "ROOOOAAAAR!" I have to go home now to eat my dinner.
Love,
Michael Winner
(AGE THREE, with help from Mrs. Winner)
Reading, Massachusetts
Chinese People
Dear Godzilla,
I am afraid of Chinese people. Please take them away. Thank you.
Johnny Lee Miller
(AGE FOUR)
Terre Haute, Indiana
I am afraid of Chinese people. Please take them away. Thank you.
Johnny Lee Miller
(AGE FOUR)
Terre Haute, Indiana
Your Friend in Texas
Dear Godzilla,
Momma said Daddy's new girlfriend is a whore, but I like her. I want to get a tattoo like she's got, except with a picture of you in it instead of the Tasmanian Devil. Or maybe the Fighting Irish guy.
Your friend in Texas,
Jane Badler,
(AGE TEN)
Laredo, Texas
Your friend in Texas,
Jane Badler,
(AGE TEN)
Laredo, Texas
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